i consider his art to be his teachings, as opposed to merely, ‘songs’. every single piece of art he’s done, that’s a whole part of his teachings. what was considered his ‘dance’ was his touching base with his ancestors, and presenting that connection he had, to the world. those who are in touch with their ancestors and know who they are, are able to move anywhere in the world without hatred. with him he carried the traditions of his blood, who did happen to be slaves in this country. as he also had european blood (through both his parents) he was able to know that all cultures share the basic need for love. he was always open about the root of what he did, and how that was based on the rhythms of the motherland/africa. he was a universal teacher. whether or not we’ve met him in person, we all got to experience what he gave to us.

on the day of his transcendence, i was happily listening to his teachings in my room. i then went upstairs to feed my cat friend, when my house-mate told me not to look at the computer. i thought it was broken or something. she said no, but that something had happened to michael. she did not tell me what happened, until i told her to tell me. i did not believe her. as this was going on, another house-mate told me he was in a coma. i went to look at the computer, and to my disbelief, the information was that he had physically left this earth. instantly, i was paralysed, and tears streamed down my face. i never got so many phone calls in one day in my life; people asking if i heard the news and if i was okay.

later that night i had to do a radio show, and the whole subject matter for the show changed. i dutifully got together all of the michael records i could carry, and rode to the station on my bicycle. everyone there was wondering if i was even gonna show up to do the show, and they hoped i would. when i walked in, the first song i heard was ‘speechless’ (from the ‘invincible’ album) and rivers expelled from my eyes. that’s the only thing i could feel at the moment. i felt as if my heart was ripped out of my body. so much of me had literally died at that moment. people had to beg me to even eat anything. there were quite a few people there to stay with me while i did the show, and we ended up playing michael for three hours on the air, with calls of tears, condolences and support. it was as if michael were my own kin.

i have so many stories/memories relating to my connection with michael and his teachings, but i will leave it at this. i grew up with michael’s art- my mother always had his and his brothers’ records on the turntable… i was about 7 years old when the thriller film came out, and it actually scared me very much! i’ve taken quite a few journeys with the man, and i appreciate the the road, both bumpy and smooth.

thank you my teacher; i love you so very much. you are truly, that ‘someone in the dark’, for all of us.

Anyway, like you, I feel like I lost a soulmate of sorts. While you feel you can relate to him looks-wise in his later years, I’m the opposite. I resemble more of the 1958-1985 MJ physically and stylistically. He taught me so much too, and I’m sure you feel the same. So many people have so many memories connected to him. I’ve heard so many “Michael Jackson reminds me of…” stories this week and it’s kind of comforting. It’s gonna be crazy living in a world without him, isn’t it?

I just discovered your blog recently and when the news broke I thought about several things and people including you. Mostly because there are hardly any people I know who are out of the closet/proud MJ fans like myself. This was a really beautiful piece you wrote. I’ve taken the news pretty hard, but I know all the fans will get through this. I hope you’re doing well!

Btw, is MJ the reason you’re so in love with black/white/red?

Danyel Smith’s (from VIBE magazine) article on the passing of Michael Jackson and what it means to the world is really beautiful and insightful. I think you may appreciate it, if you haven’t already read it.

Please have a look at my cartoon Michael Jackson portrait: http://www.seanward.net/1698-michael-jackson-tribute/