Daily Archives: January 7, 2008

Mastering the Art of Bed Jumping!

Bed jumping is an art. It requires great poise and agility. Yes, it should be an Olympic sport! To get started, all you need is a loose fitting outfit and a cushy bed. Mine was in a NYC hotel room, complete with a leather headboard!

To be a bed jumping star, follow my simple tips:   

  

1. Act like you don’t care. Even if your blood pressure is going through the roof (or hotel ceiling) before your performance, appear nonchalant. Give off a look of indifference. Act like a seasoned pro even if you haven’t done the splits since Taekwondo class back in 1992. Stretching is for weenies. You’re the #1 ranked bed jumper in the world- there’s no need to warm up!

2. Focus on your ascent! Flail your arms if that helps you get some air.  

  

3. Reach for the heavens! Channel David Lee Roth in the Jump! video. Yeah, still act like you’re unfazed even if this is the most cardio you’ve done in the last 10 years.  

  

4. Raise your hand when you’re jumping to avoid smacking your head on the ceiling. Bed jumping should remain concussion free! I hit my head during a session in Hawaii and learned my lesson the hard way.  

  

5. OK, now show some personality! You’ve proven your agility to the judges, now separate yourself from the competition. Think of those Olympic ice skating performances where they start out all stylized and elegant and end up playing dead in the center of the ice rink during the finale. Once again, borrow some moves from Diamond Dave (but skip the zebra spandex).  

  

6. Throw up some signs– peace, rock n’ roll, I love you, whatever works. Just roll with what you’re feelin’.  

   

7. It’s okay to lay down dramatically to gain some sympathy. You’ve just put on the performance of a lifetime! 

*All photos are by Bianca Alexis and were taken during September 2007 in NYC.